let me preface this entry by saying that i fully understand that my dietary decisions forfeit my right to have a smooth transaction or a correct food order at any fast food establishment. these stories are merely entertainment and not in any way an attempt at complaining about service. i am fully aware that in these situaions I am the one with unreasonable demands.
i have made a recent attempt at not eating as much fast food lately but unfortunately i am only given 30 minutes as a lunch break and almost never shop for groceries. subway is my only non-fast-food option if i want more than 5 minutes to actually eat, and it is the furthest away. which means that should ANYTHING AT ALL interfere with my precious time (like, say, having to pee. or forgetting that i parked a mile away in the front of the building as opposed to the back) it is no longer an option.
which brings me, today, to taco bell. this is a pretty good example of just about every drive-thru (which, yes, is my first mistake) experience i've had in the past 4 years of not eating meat:
"welcome to taco bell. order when you're ready"
"yes, i would like a zesty chicken bowl, but with no chicken. and a large pepsi"
"a zesty bowl with what?"
"no CHICKEN"
"NO chicken??"
"correct."
"ok, hold on (i think at this point they're checking with their manager to make sure this isn't breaking any rules)......ok. anything else?"
"yes. a large pepsi, please." apparently the lack of chicken threw her for such a loop that my drink was easily forgotten.
now, (maybe this is just a little paranoia) i am convinced that fast food employees loathe my vegetarianism. they think "now why the hell would you order a zesty CHICKEN bowl without the CHICKEN? it's right there in the name!" so to spite me, they hastily prepare my food order, leaving out key ingredients such as lettuce, or salsa, or the "good" beans, until i am left with what is essentially a bowl of rice with some cheese and crunchy red things on top and a dollop of what appears to be three-day-old dried out refried beans buried somewhere in the middle.
thank you, taco bell. thank you for reaffirming my decision to not eat fast-food. and for giving me something to write about in my blog.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
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8 comments:
What?! But Taco Bell's 7-layer burrito is the fast-food vegetarian meal of choice! It's pretty much the only fast-food I eat, and my love for them is so well known that, on occasion, my students will leave them on my desk, in lieu of apples.
I've yet to actually eat a burrito left on my desk, mind you. There's just too many ways that could turn bad.
But, yeah, sister, I feel your pain. You ever get the one where you inform someone you don't eat meat and they say, "We've got ham." Ham's a meat. "Okay, we got chicken." You know, that counts, too.
My solutions to the lunch problem:
1. Buy a generous collection good tupperware and don't be shy with the leftovers;
2. Keep a stock of Progresso soup, crackers, tinned mandarin oranges, and V-8, either at work or in the trunk of your car (this plan is also good in case things get all Road Warrior in a hurry).
I always go with the Bean Fiesta Burrito. That's tastey. I like to get it without tomatoes, though. Taco bell tomatoes gross me out to no end so I always say "bean fiesta burrito with no tomatoes". The end results have varried from a burrito with only rice and cheese, a burrto with only beans and no fiesta sauce, all the way to a burrito in which I could not discern the ingredients. You can also go with the plain old bean burrito. That's safe. Ultimately, however...and this is a horrible generalization on my part...I've reached the conclusioni that all taco bell employees are freaking idiots.
I'm pretty sure I'd be an idiot if I worked at Taco Bell. I mean, how engaged can one be in squeezing out the various colors of goo from those caulk guns they use? Not exactly stimulating.
That said, I've often fantasized about designing a chart that would lead an employee through the correct procedure for assembling a 7-layer burrito. 'Cuz I hate when the first half of the burrito is all the cold ingredients, and and second half is all the hot ingredients.
You guys are hilarious and informative.
joel,
i really do love the 7-layer burritos but ONLY when they're assembled properly. and as you said, it seems as though it may be more difficult to do this than we realize. also, they always put too many beans and not enough rice.
i also tend to be the kind of person that wants something on the menu that typically comes with meat. i told the people at back yard burger the other day that i wanted the texas syle burger but with the veggie patty. i'll give you one guess as to what i actually got.
thanks for the pointers. good to know you don't eat desk burritos...they could be poisoned, you know.
shane,
i'm not a huge fan of the beans at taco bell, so all those bean-based burritos aren't at all appealing. even the things i get often times have too many beans for my taste. that's why i have to order stuff like the zesty bowl, and that's why my order is always wrong.
maybe the lesson here is that i should start liking the beans.
i pretty much hate the tomatoes, too. but after asking for no meat on something, i fear that asking them to leave out any other ingredient will cause a mental breakdown and that they'll put the meat back.
Wow. So I came across this blog because you commented on LBW about you writing about Supergirl. So I wanted to check that out. Then I read this Vegetarian post and then I read the couple post before this one and you mention the part about reading peoples blogs that you don't know then I felt silly, but thats besides the point. I'm a vegetarian in SC and I get all sortsa weird comments and looks. My favorite was when I asked for the BK Veggie at Burger King and the girl asked me if that was the one with or without the meat and I told her "uh... without..." and then I ended up with a Wopper with no meat in it. Little did I realize at the time that she meant "with or without the pattie?" Silly me. Lastly, I pretty much live off of the Veggie Delight (I've recently learned that they have a Veggie Burger there now too) and Taco Bell's Pintos and Cheese, Cheese Quesadilla, and Nachos. I used to work at TB back in high school and the bean is powder. Just add really hot water and mix. Now since this isn't my blog I'll shut up. Thanks for sharing.
yuck. bean-powder is possibly the grossest thing i've heard of, aside from the type of meat they use.
there's only one subway here that has the veggie-pattie and it's out of the way for me. i tried it once and wasn't that into it anyway.
thanks for stopping by!
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